Friday, January 18, 2013

Anxious.

Every move I make I'm afraid I'll start contracting...or have my water break.  Neurotic?  Yes.  I desperately want to have another "Cole" birth...you know, the kind where you come to the hospital, get your epidural about 3.5 seconds after signing in at the front desk, and then wait while watching bad reality television until your kid is born, *fairly* painlessly, 8 or 9 hours later.

I hate feeling pressured to induce simply because of my last experience at MCG which involved quite a bit of time mis-management when it came to getting any type of pain relief.  By the same token, I know that there was no way that Vera's birth was anything less than incredibly stressful and traumatic for her because of how pitifully I handled the ordeal...and so then I wonder if I had been induced a couple days prior, would she have benefitted?  The more logical part of me says "no."  Extra days, even mere extra hours in the womb are exponentially beneficial for babies.  We see this when a child is born 6 weeks early and yet may end up staying in the NICU far longer than 6 weeks, depending on the circumstances.

I'm praying that on Tuesday I have a crystal clear answer as to what to do...either the doctor says "no additional progress made since last week" and I just keep trucking along, or she says "wow! looks like you are going to have a baby in the next few days!" and I stay there "actively contracting."  Something makes me think my answer won't be nearly so clear as those two options...

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